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In recent years, we often hear phrases such as "communication skills" and "the importance of communication."

According to the "Summary of Survey Results on New Graduate Recruitment" published annually by the Japan Business Federation, "communication skills" has been ranked number one for the 10th consecutive year as "an important factor in recruitment selection." Furthermore, as society rapidly globalizes, an increasing number of companies are making English their official in-house language. There are probably many people who are working hard to learn foreign languages with the goal of "becoming an international citizen and playing an active role in a global society in the future."

So, can we assume that when Japanese people communicate with each other in Japanese, they will be able to communicate well?

I once heard the following story from a Japanese engineer who was stationed in Los Angeles. When he was stationed there, the most difficult part of communication was not talking to his local colleagues or Americans at related companies, but rather contacting people at the head office in Tokyo in Japanese. Why was that?

He cited "differences in motivation" as one of the reasons. His American colleagues were serious about wanting to "understand" what he was saying, and he himself was desperate to "communicate" his ideas. On the other hand, he said that he felt that "why don't they understand what we're saying" when talking to people at the Tokyo headquarters.

Why was there such a difference? There was clearly an assumption that "since we are both Japanese speaking the same Japanese language and working at the same company, it is natural that they will understand each other." On the other hand, when communicating in English with Americans, the desire to "somehow get my point across" and "have them understand" may have increased motivation.

It would be an oversimplification to think that it is easy for Japanese people to communicate with each other in Japanese, but difficult to communicate with people of different nationalities in a foreign language.

In today's environment, where social structures are becoming more complex and values are becoming more diverse, it is becoming necessary to coexist with people from different cultural backgrounds, both in Japan and overseas. To do this, we must be conscious of the experiences and information we share with others and take a proactive approach to communication.

So let's think about what is needed to have rich communication.

The word "communication" comes from the root "communicare," which means "common ground." In other words, communication is the process by which the parties involved create a common ground.

It is important to be aware of the "three identities" during the communication process.

"Personal identity" refers to the "I" as an individual not limited to a social role, such as when asked "Who are you?" and you answer "I am Kiyoko Sueda" or "I am me."

"Social identity" refers to the awareness of belonging to a certain society or group and sharing that culture, for example, a woman being a "mother" at home, a "boss" at work, a "student" at a sports club, and a "Japanese" when traveling abroad.

"Superordinate identity" refers to an identity that is (almost completely) shared with the person you are communicating with, such as when asked "Who are you?" you answer, "I am an Earthling" or "I am human being."

In this way, we communicate with others through different types of identities.

For example, imagine a situation in which two people, Chen-san (Chinese, male, educator) and Suzuki-san (Japanese, female, student), are communicating. Depending on the setting and topic of the communication, the identities of the two people can change in various ways, such as "Japanese and Chinese," "educator and student," or "Chen and Suzuki-san."

Figure 1 illustrates this diagrammatically. The sphere models rotate on their axes, and show how the contrasting identities change depending on which parts of the sphere face each other. In Figure 1, the social identities of "educator" and "student" are contrasted. However, in another context, the personal identities of "Chen" and "Suzuki" might be highlighted.

In this way, identity is not fixed, but fluid and changes depending on the person and the situation. It is important to recognize the multifaceted nature of your own identity, as well as to understand the multifaceted nature of the other person's identity.

In the communication process, being aware of the multifaceted identities of yourself and others and disclosing (or presenting) yourself according to the situation leads to mutual understanding. On the other hand, it is not uncommon to experience conflicts (clashes, confrontations, conflicts, tensions) with others, even when the level of the identity you present and the identity presented by the other person are in sync.

The important thing here is not to avoid conflicts in the first place, but to think about "why conflicts occur" and "what should be done to resolve them." In other words, communication ability is not only "the ability to smoothly advance communication" but also "the ability to face situations when communication breaks down."

In my classes, I give my students studying communication studies an assignment called a "group presentation project." This involves forming groups of five or six students, setting their own theme based on what they have learned over the past year, conducting literature research and field research, and presenting the results of their work in 20 minutes.

One of the aims of this project is to relate what we have learned through lectures to our daily lives, but there is another important aim: to have students self-evaluate how they communicated within their group from deciding on the topic to the presentation, and how they related to their own group.

In the process of each member contributing ideas and holding repeated discussions to produce a single "result," conflicts, disagreements, and confusion will naturally arise. We ask each member to reflect on these experiences and write them down in a report.

The submitted reports contain a variety of thoughts and learning experiences, such as, "I wanted to take on a leadership role in this way, but the members didn't follow suit. Why?," "To what extent was I able to support my leadership?" and "I had a hard time getting everyone to agree on a common direction, but I learned a lot by encountering ideas that I had never thought of."

One student wrote, "Because we were good friends, I was worried about the future impact on our relationships and was unable to say what I wanted to say." He was too afraid of conflict to communicate deeply. Perhaps this student misunderstood the act of expressing his/her opinion as denying the other person.

On the other hand, one student wrote, "I didn't like being put into a group with people I'd never met before, but I was able to say what I wanted to say and by the end of the class I had become good friends with the other students." In this way, many students were able to not only improve their learning outcomes by focusing on the task, but also build new relationships.

Pride (the emotion of accepting oneself as one is) is important in order to establish one's identity in communication situations. On the other hand, shame (the emotion that accompanies being rejected or denied) is always present in the communication process.

When people feel shame about their interactions or relationships, it is easy to repair the relationship if the people involved can talk about it openly, but there are many cases where the relationship falls into a destructive state if shame is not eliminated. This is not limited to human relationships. Even at the level of countries, there are countless examples of tragic relationships that have fallen into disarray as a result of shame accumulating endlessly without addressing the fundamental causes of conflict.

In order to break this negative cycle in situations like these, it is necessary to face our own shame head-on and accept the shame of others. To do this, it is important to be able to respect the pride of others and to recognize what identity their pride is based on.

So, when we are faced with a communication breakdown, what can we do to restore a normal relationship?

To do this, it is important to be aware that "differences" lead to creativity. Even if there are differences of opinion, respecting and accepting the other person and continuing to discuss will lead to the creation of new ideas. In other words, it means respecting differences in good faith (agree to disagree).

So, if you feel that communication is breaking down, "lean in and get closer to the other person." Get close enough to feel the other person's body temperature, jump into their arms... If you can convey that this is an expression of respect for the other person's intelligence, then communication that has been stalled will surely be revived.

I believe this is the true essence of communication. Language skills are important to communicate in this global world. However, what is even more important is to understand the true essence of communication and to respect others.

(Published in 2015)