Columns that reveal the world
- Getting up close and personal with the researchers -

When people say that "appearance is everything," it makes us want to rebel, but other people can only "guess" what's going on inside of us. Since we can never know the real us, the first way to know what other people are like is from their appearance. Therefore, how we appear to others is very important. They say that "first impressions are important," and how we look on a first meeting in particular has a big impact on future relationships. Other people decide how to treat us based on the impression they have of us.

For example, an experiment conducted by overseas researchers has reported that when female wait staff at a restaurant wore flowers in their hair, the average tip amount increased by $0.26 compared to when they did not. In another experiment, female university students tried to borrow a dime from a stranger, and in one condition they were neatly dressed in a skirt and stockings, and in another condition they were sloppily dressed in jeans. When the stranger was neatly dressed, 81% of people gave them the dime, compared to only 32% when they were sloppily dressed, showing a large difference.

How you dress can make a big difference in how others perceive you. It makes a huge difference in how you are treated. As you can see from the experiment above, this is more noticeable in foreign countries than in Japan, but if you look good, others will help you, and if you don't, there is a clear difference. Appearance is such an important factor in judging people.

Whether you intend it or not, people will automatically read information into you from your appearance, such as your clothes, makeup, speaking style, posture, facial expressions, etc. If you are aware of this and can control your appearance, your communication skills will improve dramatically.

Do you think that fashion is pointless, and that what matters is what's on the inside? But have you noticed that people often look at our clothes and make us feel good or bad? Clothes are a way to express our individuality, but they are also a sign of respect and consideration for others.

If you were to dress impolitely at a funeral, what kind of reaction would you get? You can imagine. But what about on a date? Wouldn't you be disappointed if your date dressed in a way that didn't really matter to you? Not caring about your clothes is an expression of not caring at all about what the other person thinks when they see it. "I don't care what they think" is like expressing through your clothes that you have no feelings or respect for the other person. It's no wonder the other person feels uncomfortable in that case.

"Dressing up" includes makeup for women. Here is a chart showing how makeup is viewed by others. It seems that not wearing any makeup at all is not viewed very favorably by others. Natural makeup is perceived most favorably, and heavier makeup is viewed negatively again. From the perspective of the person wearing makeup, it may not seem like there is such a big difference between no makeup and natural makeup, but to the recipient, just like with clothing, it naturally senses whether consideration has been given or not. When it comes to heavy makeup, the time, place, and occasion often come into play.

The same is true in social life. Dressing how you want to is important for mental health, but if your clothes are too unique or inappropriate for the time, place, and occasion, it can lead to a lack of consideration for business partners, superiors, and colleagues. Dressing well and wearing makeup also sends the message that "I respect you." If you want to build good relationships with others, it can be said that paying attention to your appearance is a necessary condition.

Fashion not only helps you to be perceived favorably by others, but also has an effect on your state of mind. You may choose your clothes and accessories to control your emotions, such as "I want to be motivated today" or "I want to spend the day calmly," and sometimes you may even be particular about your underwear that other people can't see.

We conducted this fieldwork targeting Aoyama Aogaku students wear accessories, they usually spend between 2,000 and 4,000 yen each, and tend to have a number of them so that they can change their accessories to match their outfits. We lent these female students a necklace, telling them that it cost 70,000 yen. We found that when they put it on, they felt different than usual. It seemed to lift their spirits, making them feel more positive, and improving their self-image, making them "feel proud" and "confident."

Experiments have shown that makeup has the same effect as accessories. For people who think of themselves as their "public self" when they wear makeup, the bare face is practically naked and they feel diminished, which causes a great psychological distance between them and others. Research has also shown that people who normally wear makeup are more likely to say, "When I'm wearing makeup, I can be more proactive with others," which shows that women are aware of the effects of wearing makeup. Fashion has the effect of "customizing yourself" and "getting closer to the person you want to be," and it is possible to consciously incorporate this into your life.

People who say "what's inside is more important than what's in the clothes" and neglect fashion are unaware of the effects of fashion and don't even try to understand them. They may say "I compete on what's inside," but in reality, they may not realize that they are just picky and don't like things without trying them, or they may have a narrow tolerance for things... they are revealing that they are shallower on the inside than they think. The same goes for people who say "everyone wears the same clothes, so I don't feel any individuality." They may be overlooking the little fashion details that each person brings to the table. Understanding fashion is often a sign of a deeper understanding of yourself and others.

We judge others not only by their words, but also by non-verbal communication. This is called "non-verbal communication." Non-verbal communication includes gestures, hand movements, posture, and actions, but facial expressions are also a form of non-verbal communication. For example, the difference in the amount of tip at a restaurant, as mentioned at the beginning, is related not only to fashion but also to facial expressions. If you serve someone with a smile instead of a frown, you will receive a larger tip.

Smiling is also very important in job interviews. In how-to books for interviews, it is often written that "it is good to make eye contact with the interviewer," but eye contact alone can make the other person feel nervous. In addition to eye contact, if you can smile occasionally, you can make a good impression on the other person. Smiling is an expression of goodwill. When one person smiles at you, they tend to smile back at you, which is called "reciprocity." If you can exchange appropriate smiles during an interview, you will almost certainly make a good impression. Smiling is also a sign of ease. If you respond to work with a smile, the other person will feel that you are competent.

The next most important aspect of communication after a smile is an apologetic facial expression. As long as you have a dissatisfied facial expression in response to a complaint, you will never be forgiven by the angry person. In the workplace, apologies have different weights, so it is common to "bring your boss along when apologizing," and this is sometimes the boss's job, but even if you apologize politely in this way, if you have a dissatisfied facial expression, it will only amplify the other person's anger.

How freely can you make smiling and apologetic expressions? If you can control these two expressions, you can adjust your self-expression and interpersonal relationships, which are the basis of communication. Facial expressions are made by facial muscles, so there are various ways to train them, such as exercising your facial muscles while looking in the mirror, so why not give it a try?

Communication is like a game of catch between our hearts. Throw the ball where the other person can easily receive it, and the receiver should reach out as hard as they can to try and catch the ball even if it is a little off course. This way, the exchange can continue for a long time. The longer the game of catch continues, the more fun it becomes. Our appearance is a ball that carries our hearts. If both parties make an effort to continue the exchange by taking care of their appearance and being considerate of the other person, I think the content of the communication will deepen and become more and more interesting.

(Published in 2015)